Tall, dark, sociopath
by sofia313
Summary: It was a simple bet, all Kol would have to do was survive one blind date with a girl Rebekah had chosen. Unfortunately this girl might be too much even for Kol. One-shot.


Kol looked at his watch and rolled his eyes, his date was almost half an hour late. Apparently women hadn't changed during the last century; they still kept the men waiting. Not that it mattered, he wasn't really here to meet her, he was here to teach his sister a lesson. Rebekah had dared to claim that he couldn't handle women without compulsion; that was just a ridiculous thing to say. He could handle any woman, anywhere, anytime.

Of course Rebekah had wanted him to prove his claim, so here he was. Just a one date without any compulsion and he would have his sister's car. Obviously he could have bought as many cars as he liked, but that wasn't the same thing, Rebekah truly liked her car. It was already as good as his; Bekah was a fool if she thought otherwise. Just a one date, could this be any easier?

Kol grinned and enjoyed his drink; the restaurant seemed to be almost full tonight. He looked up when he heard someone entering the dining hall. This woman was simply gorgeous, she had long dark hair and tanned skin, she was wearing a short red dress that complimented her slim figure and gorgeous bosom. Her and a car? This truly was his lucky night. He stood up and gave her one of his most charming smiles, but she walked past his table without even paying attention to him.

"Darling!" she said and kissed a man who was sitting few tables away.

Damn it, wrong woman. Where the hell was his…

"Cal?" a woman's voice suddenly said, cutting off his thoughts. Kol turned around and frowned, this was his date? The woman was quite short and petite, probably in her early twenties; she had curly sandy blonde hair and nerdy glasses. She was wearing a long yellow bow print dress, a white sweater and plenty of junk bracelets and rings. She also had a big handbag.

"Kol," he corrected after being able to speak.

"Alrighty," she replied. "I'm Sunny."

"Sunny?" he repeated.

"It's a short for Sunshine," she explained. "Sunshine Everdream Starlight. And no, my mom wasn't a hippie, she was just crazy. I mean really crazy, she's still in a mental hospital."

"Uh huh…" Kol managed to say and held out his hand. "Well, it's nice to meet you Sunny."

"Sorry, I don't like to touch people," she said and sat down. "It's very unpleasant. But I'm sure you have a nice skin, it looks soft as a peach."

"Thank you," Kol muttered and sat down opposite her. It seemed that this would be a long night… Damn Rebekah. The girl was calmly observing him behind her glasses.

"I'm sorry for being late; I had to clean my chakras before coming here. You know, get rid of all the negative energy."

"Hmm, sounds interesting," Kol muttered and took a gulp out of his glass.

The girl was looking at the menu, she seemed absent-minded.

"So, how do you know my sister?" Kol asked.

"I read her aura," she replied, keeping her eyes on the menu. "I'm a psychic."

"Really?" Kol huffed. "Can you read my aura?"

She looked up and glanced at him.

"Well, according to your sister you can't get a date and you're a sociopath."

Kol stared at her disbelievingly, what the hell had Rebekah said to her?

"What? No, I'm not."

She waved her hand.

"Hey, no worries, I don't judge. One of my brothers is definitely a sociopath and he's doing great in law school. Ironically my other brother is in jail for robbing a liquor store. He was drunk while doing it, but the judge didn't think that was a good explanation. Anyway, I'm starving, have you decided yet what you want?"

Kol cleared his throat.

"I think I will stick with these," he said raising his glass.

"Oh, catch you. No worries, if you're short of cash, I can pay my own food…"

"What, no," Kol snapped. "Order what ever you want, I have money."

She shrugged.

"Alrighty."

She bit her bottom lip thoughtfully while looking at the menu; she didn't look up before the waiter arrived.

"Good evening. What can I get you?"

"Is there mushrooms in the mushroom ravioli?" she asked.

The waiter looked confused.

"Yes, there are."

She nodded.

"Good, I'll have that then. And an ice tea."

"Very good, ma'am. And for you, sir?"

"Keep these coming," Kol replied pointing at his glass. This would surely be so much fun…

"You're a florist," his date suddenly said.

Kol frowned.

"What?"

She wasn't looking at him; she was running her fingers thoughtfully over the table.

"I can sense you like flowers, I think you're a florist."

"No, I'm not and I don't like flowers," he replied sharply.

She shrugged.

"Alrighty."

Kol rolled his eyes.

"So, you're a psychic?"

"Yep."

"You do that for a living?"

"That too," she replied. "And phone sex."

Kol had just taken a gulp out of his glass and now he almost choked on it.

"Excuse me?" he asked.

"Yep, not very glamorous job, but it gives me a living. I'm very good at faking an orgasm, do you want to hear?"

If Kol had thought that this woman couldn't possibly make him more uncomfortable, he had been wrong.

"Dear lord no… I mean, I take your word for it."

She shrugged.

"Your lost. So, are you the kind of sociopath who kills people?"

"What…what kind of a question is that?"

She looked at him curiously.

"No worries, I've killed someone once, I don't judge."

Kol stared at her disbelievingly.

"You…have killed someone?"

"Yep. I was 5 back then, my uncle Eddie was babysitting me and my brothers, he was completely wasted. At some point he told me to bring him his bottle, but unfortunately I didn't know what bottle he was talking about, so I brought him a bottle of drain opener. He was too drunk to notice, so he drank it and died on our bathroom floor."

Kol had no idea how to comment on that, this woman seemed to be out of her mind.

"How…tragic," he muttered, signaling the waiter to bring him another drink.

"Yep. Then my brothers thought that it would be funny to lock me in the bathroom with him and I was there for almost two days. Strangely it didn't affect on me at all, after couple of years of therapy, I started to talk again and now I'm doing great."

"That's nice…"

Dear lord, he needed more booze…

"Hey, do you want to see pictures of my baby?" she asked.

"You…have a child?"

She shook her head while looking for something from her bag.

"No, no, I have a bunny. Here he is."

Kol pressed his lips together and looked at the picture she had placed on the table in front of him. It was a big brown bunny with a bow on its neck.

"This one is from his birthday," she explained. "I call him Mr. Bunny. You know, Sunny and Bunny, kind of like Batman and Robin, minus the whole fighting against crime thing."

"Hmm," Kol muttered and took a long gulp out of his glass.

"I have more pictures," she continued and started to show them to him.

"Here he is sleeping on the couch…"

The damn car definitely wasn't worth this, but this was about principle, he couldn't let Rebekah win.

"Here he is eating…"

Thankfully the waiter brought him his drink and placed the girl's food in front of her.

"Here you are, ma'am."

The girl placed her palms together and drew a circle in the air.

"And may you be forever blessed."

"Thank you, ma'am…" the waiter muttered.

Well, at least she was concentrated on her food now, she hadn't been kidding on being starving. Was she actually humming while eating?

"Is it good?" he asked.

She nodded.

"Yep."

He really didn't have anything else to say and she didn't say anything either before her cell started to ring. Apparently she had more than one; finally she managed to find the right one from her bag.

"Oh, I have to take this. Excuse me."

"Sure," he muttered and stood up when she stood up; he was a gentleman after all.

"Lenny, have you been a naughty boy…" he heard her saying before she went to the ladies room.

Where the hell had Rebekah found this woman? She really was…

"_Yes! Oh God yes!"_

What the hell? Apparently he wasn't the only one who was wondering about that, everyone in the restaurant turned to look at the door of the ladies room.

"_Yes, yes, yes!"_

Kol was too stunned to even take a gulp, was that woman actually… Well, she certainly hadn't been kidding, she was very good at faking. Finally she came out and calmly walked back to the table, although everyone in the restaurant was staring at her.

"One of my best clients," she explained and put the cell back into her bag.

"Hmm."

Kol couldn't help but to stare at her, that had turned him on whether he wanted to admit it or not. Maybe the girl was weird to say the least, but she wasn't unattractive. In fact, if he would get rid of those glasses of hers and get her out of those clothes, she might just be his toy for tonight. It seemed that this would be her lucky night.

"Listen, sweetheart," he said smiling charmingly. "Why don't I get the check and we'll continue this somewhere else…"

She sighed and looked at him.

"I'm going to be honest here; I did this as a favor for your sister, but you're really not my type."

Kol was stunned, what the hell was she talking about? _He_ wasn't _her_ type?

"I'm sure you'll find someone, hang in there, Gil."

"What…"

"Thank you for the dinner," she said and stood up, doing the weird hand thing again.

"May you be forever blessed."

With that she marched out. What… Had she just turned him down? But no one had ever turned him down, especially someone like her. What…the…hell? At least he had technically won the bet, but that didn't really help. He definitely needed another drink.


End file.
